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Finding Carter: “Half Baked”

This episode probably picks up the day after Carter’s big choice- because it was a choice. It could be argued that she gave the key and the phone to her dad because she couldn’t make the choice, but in giving it to him, she chose her blood kin. She severed all ties to her mother, and gave David the opportunity to incarcerate Lori, if he and Elizabeth had chosen to. To be fair to Carter, she did chose that course of action at the end of an emotionally exhausting day, having spent months being exposed only to people who really hated Lori (with good reason). So, I’m curious to see the emotional fallout in this episode, especially given what we saw in the preview.

So the episode opens on a meeting with Lori that David set up for Carter. This already feels suspect. Lori doesn’t show, and David’s speech to his daughter sounds way too rehearsed. How would he have even contacted Lori after he hung up? She said the phone was only good for one call. I’m guessing that David made up the whole meeting thing to get Carter to move on.

Fashion side note: Okay, I’ve been lenient before about making exposed bra straps a thing again, but I count one racer back lace bra, a magenta camisole and a black camisole. Seriously, Carter. You barely need a bra to begin with, let alone two. I’m going to start counting the bra straps I see in every episode, with each set of straps counting as one and including the ones in the intro song.

“I hate you!” Wow, Grant. Harsh. But he’s just a kid, not even a teenager yet. No matter how independent he’s had to be, he isn’t able to handle this. But seriously, what kind of mother lets her son talk to her like that? Also, David being nice. That totally means he’s up to something.

Max watering plants, because he’s perfect and loves the earth. Also, his diatribe on the carbon cycle is amazing. And wow, everyone knows about mommy’s dirty little secret in pretty quick succession. gotta say, so far, my favorite reaction is Carter’s. Though Grant’s little comment about the doughnuts is adorable. And mom’s been having said affair for three years! Hot damn. And Gabe’s mom was dying of cancer. Well, that explains where she is, and his issues with attachment to women. Also, wow. That must have been a sucky adolesence. I can’t see this confrontation ending well, although I also didn’t think it would escalate this quickly. Supportive Max is supportive.

Also, they both look crazy uncomfortable. Like, they said, let’s cross our arms. Oh, never mind, we shouldn’t. Oh damn, they’re here, cross your arms. Wow, more brand names. Adidas must have given them way less money than Macy’s. Also, the girls keep their arms crossed.

Lol, “Carter did most of the talking, and she’s really good at that.” XD Taylor knows what’s up. I love that Taylor speaks her mind and doesn’t hold back on telling her mother how she feels, because she seems like she tries to spare other people’s feelings a lot, and she’s been way bolder lately. “I’m so not used to this family drama.” Girl where you been the last few months?

Why does Carter suddenly care about going to school on time? She never actually goes to class.”Nobody’s going to get lost in the system.” What is this now, foster care? They’re all skipping school to day-drink at Max’s apartment? And smoking weed. Well, why the hell not? They’re already truant, let’s add to it by consuming an illegal substance.

Max being respectful of Taylor even when she says she wants him, but he knows her judgement is impaired is top notch. Awesome boyfriending!

Ugh, I knew they wouldn’t be on time to pick up Grant. Shame on them.

Also, Taylor is a follower. Lol, Elizabeth is observant. And where has David been all this time? Does he not understand that he’s gotta pick up the parenting slack if he kicks his wife out?

Ooh, I’ve figured it out. David needs to manipulate Carter into telling him it’s okay to publish the book about her, and thus keep his relationship with his daughter intact, hang on to his wife, publish his book, and make some money. Obviously, he’d rather not be in the situation in the first place, but if he had to be, best get something out of it. It’s sad that I’m beginning to understand David’s twisted mind.

Huh, a motel? Well, that explains where she’s been staying. My guess is that she doesn’t have a lot of friends with a couch she can crash on. Also, has she broken up with Gabe’s dad yet? She probably hasn’t been to work, so is she just avoiding him and hoping he’ll take the hint?

Wow, David is a really good actor. Also, really manipulative, and kind of a bad dad. Wonder if Elizabeth is in on her husband’s emotional manipulation of their daughter? Well, he didn’t get everything he wanted, I guess. His relationship with his daughter looks kind of damaged from here. She figured out that he lied about making a meeting with Lori. She looks pretty upset.

Okay, I counted 9 bra straps in this episode. We’ll see how that stacks up with the next one. Time for the secrets rundown!

David and Elizabeth know that they are in foreclosure, but the kids aren’t in the loop. Also, they just used their daughters to get money from her parents. Also, David got a huge check from his publisher, but his agent took it back so that Elizabeth won’t get half when they separate. But now that they’re working on their marriage, perhaps they’ll get the check now after all.

Dad started to write the book about Carter secretly, even though he promised he would not. He then manipulated her into allowing him to write the book, though on her terms.

Carter and Dad are the only ones who know that Carter nearly got caught with Crash in a stolen car.

Carter appears to be the only one who knows that someone abused Bird. We’ll probably hear more about this later.

Carter is dating Crash. She has kissed pretty much every other guy on the show, except Ofie. They seem to be happy, but he’s starting to kind of creep me out. He played average supportive boyfriend in this episode, which was a bit out of character.

Gabe used to be into Carter, but then he wanted Taylor, but they mutually decided that they’re more like family. So now he’s kind of in love limbo. But he also seems to be jealous of everyone. It’s now apparent that he probably developed emotional attachment problems due to his mother’s slow death due to cancer and his father’s subsequent detachment from reality.

Taylor wants Max, and used to want Gabe, but she got over him. She and Max are together now, and are adorable.

Bird screwed Crash in her closet, and appears to be a bit jealous of Carter and him. Plus she has that mysterious abuser in her past that we don’t know much about yet.

Crash is now dating Carter. He seems to fully reciprocate her feelings, but is starting to freak me our a bit and act a little cray cray.

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Finding Carter: Throw Momma From the Train

So we left Carter literally holding a new life in her hands. She has been ripped away from all she knows once already, but now she has the chance to take her life into her own hands, and make the choice to be with her mom, or stay with her family.

And we start with a sweet morning wake-up call by the fam for their birthdays. It’s kind of a sin of convenience that their birthday falls on the day Lori has proposed to run away, but I’ll let it slide, since it appears to be working.

I love the silent communication between Carter and Taytay. They have bonded pretty well, despite having been separate most of their lives, and the way they act together now feels way more natural than in earlier episodes. 

Okay, the family in this scene is actually perfect. Gammie and Grandad both are great. Grant does his thing perfectly. Macy’s product placement! I also love how well Gammie knows her girls- “Something without holes in it.” and “Slinky, sexy.” 

Also Sassy Gammie is my new fave. “unload this loser” “Please tell me you’re seeing someone else.” Kind of a rich parents disapprove of their daughter’s husband cliche, but whatever. 

Oh, Carter’s birthday is obviously the day Lori took her. And how many of them are drinking mimosas? The girls are only seventeen!

Ooh, Taylor inherited the sassy genes from Gammie.

Fashion side note: When did Tay pick up her sister’s exposed bra straps thing? Also, what is with these girls and sleeping in their bras? There’s this thing called comfort.

MACY’S PRODUCT PLACEMENT!

Sassy Taylor is on point this episode! I love that eyeliner on her. Also, they both actually pull the dress off pretty well. Similar body types.

“I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.” Really, about to break up her marriage catastrophically? Elizabeth seriously has low standards for happiness.

LOL Max. In every scene, Max is the best ever. “That’s a trick sentence.” Also, “I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to Taylor.” I swear, Max is the best, I freaking love him. I also love the way he acts around Taylor. While he and she call Carter out on her BS, he also has so much respect for Taylor, which I really love about him. 

Okay, this party looks very adult friendly, which means it can’t possibly be any fun. Also, poor Grant taking coats.

Not exactly graceful going down the stairs, but eh. It’s a party. Also, sweet moment between Crarter- I’m starting to warm up to them, but they still seem like crazy rushed and more than a little forced on Carter’s side. She also appears to be becoming less and less sure about her decision though.

Also, asides with Bird and Ofie. they are the rosencrantz and guildenstern of Finding Carter. 

Nothing is more awkward that your girlfriend’s husband being overly polite and welcoming to you.

And more awkwardness appears to run in the family, with Gabe having a brief moment of Maxflower jealousy. I thought you guys had a mutual agreement! Dude, make some decisions. Also, Max remains fabulous. 

Poor Grant! Being the replacement child’s gotta be hard when the original is getting so much attention. Seriously, Gammie, cut the little dude some slack.

Also, Crash is so clearly in love with Carter, and she just wants him to chill a little. I get why he’d want to run away from his shit life, but it’s a bit overboard. Okay, this moment where Crash suggests that he and Lori could be everything for Carter is so weird. No one can be everything for someone- she has all of this family now, how could they possibly be that for her? Also, does no one notice that two out of three of the Wilson children are missing from the party? 

Okay, Gabe. You have no right to feel bad for yourself. You pursued both sisters pretty half-assed, so just chill out and go mack on Bird. Okay, sweet moment with Gabe and Grant followed by them shutting themselves in a closet together. That’s not weird. 

Okay, Bird is acting OOC, by being a supportive friend. Also, Ofie, a Bop It is way more entertaining that diamonds. Seriously, Bop It is a girl’s best friend. Also, Sassy Ofie is sassy.

And Sassy David is sassy. Rawr. Okay, let’s just say that no one noticed him grab her and drag her up the stairs. Ooh, the Grant & Gabe cheese puff extravaganza was just a ploy to get them both somewhere they could secretly overhear their parents loudly discussing their extramarital affair. #sin of convenience

Poor Grant, he feels so on the outside. At least Gabe is there to make him feel a bit less alone. In a darkened, tiny closet.       

Screen Shot 2014-08-15 at 10.34.07 AMMore product placement! Macy’s must have given them a crapload of money. Also, Lori is looking crazier and crazier.

Thing is, in a twisted way, I get what Lori did. Lying to Carter, calling the day she took her a birthday. I mean, the kidnapping is completely inexcusable. Who just does that and expects a normal kid? But she appears to really love Carter, and lying to her about their past is something she had to do. Still, the jokey hospital scene is like, okay. Not a red flag? Well fine then.

Screen Shot 2014-08-15 at 10.46.00 AMAnd David is up late into the night typing his contraband. It actually shows which parent Carter feels trusting towards and connects with best, because she brought all of this to her Dad. Also, this is why you don’t kidnap people. They get f’ed up in the head. It’s good that David’s all there for her and stuff, but I’m really not sure what he’s going to do about it.

Oh, poor Grant. Suffering under the weight of secrets concerning his mother’s sex life. That kind of beat most of the stuff everyone else is dealing with. Except for maybe Carter and Lori. NO CARTER. YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS INFO. DO NOT LET IT SLIDE. YOUR YOUNGER BROTHER IS CLEARLY TROUBLED. BE A FUCKING SISTER.

Oh, man. This is actually a pretty good scene with Elizabeth and David. Elizabeth is a little more human, David is a little more cryptic. Seems likely that he and Lori had an affair or something way back when, and maybe she took Carter for revenge? Okay, also, weirdest foreplay ever.  

And that’s the end! Wow, okay.

Mom has had an affair with her old partner, who is also Gabe’s dad. She ended it, but now it’s back on and she said that it’s over between her and her husband. Daddy David actually has known about it this whole time, he was planning to divorce her, now he seems to be unsure, because he kind of confronted his wife’s boyfriend, and now they seem to be doing it again. But Gabe and Grant overheard his dad and Elizabeth arguing, so they might actually blow the lid off the big secret.

David and Elizabeth know that they are in foreclosure, but the kids aren’t in the loop. Also, they just used their daughters to get money from her parents. Also, David got a huge check from his publisher, but his agent took it back so that Elizabeth won’t get half when they separate. But now that seems to be kind of up in the air.

Dad is secretly writing the book about Carter, though he promised her he wouldn’t. That’s where he got the big bucks. Seems like she may find out pretty soon though.

Carter and Dad are the only ones who know that Carter nearly got caught with Crash in a stolen car.

Carter appears to be the only one who knows that someone abused Bird. We’ll probably hear more about this later.

And now the complicated romantic entanglements!

Carter is dating Crash. She has kissed pretty much every other guy on the show, except Ofie. They seem to be happy, but he’s starting to kind of creep me out.

Gabe used to be into Carter, but then he wanted Taylor, but they mutually decided that they’re more like family. So now he’s kind of in love limbo. But he also seems to be jealous of everyone.

Taylor wants Max, and used to want Gabe, but she got over him. She and Max are together now.

Bird screwed Crash in her closet, and appears to be a bit jealous of Carter and him. Plus she has that mysterious abuser in her past that we don’t know much about yet.

Crash is now dating Carter. He seems to fully reciprocate her feelings, but is starting to freak me our a bit and act a little cray cray.

I’ll also be doing an analysis on the mid season trailer, so I’ll post a link to that here once it’s up. This episode was actually pretty good, it exceeded my expectations. A-, because of all the suspension of disbelief due to the whole convenience of the entire episode.  

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Finding Carter: “The Heat”

As usual, just to start, Max is his delightful self. And Carter reminds us that she is a bossypants. Has anyone else noticed that Carter is a brat? I mean, she’s had a shitty hand dealt her, but would it kill her to be pleasant?

Carter is blatantly using Crash, and he calls her on it, whereupon she uses her womanly wiles and brokeness to get him to help her. She’s not leading him on here at all. Great job keeping us in suspense, writers.

Annoyed Eye Roll animated GIF

Grant having adorable twelve-year old problems is just great. 🙂 I really like his relationship with Carter. While she’s just plain objectionable around most characters, she’s good with him.

Nice one on worming your way into Elizabeth’s trust, Carter. She’s unnervingly good at manipulating people. Considering how many people keep trying to control her, it’s a surprise. Also, Elizabeth is pretty self aware about how Carter feels about here. And David is suspicious. Didn’t see that before. This episode shows us a more conniving David than we’ve seen before.

Cat Evil animated GIF

Oooh, David wants a divorce. And he knows that Lizzy’s gettin busy with Bad Cop. Wow, he is going to burn her hard.

Carter and Elizabeth having actual fun. Maybe bonding is possible! And then they’re at a crime scene, and they have a deep conversation. We even get to see Elizabeth act a bit like a human being, and talk about her feelings.

Okay, little thing, but if you’re married to a guy for upwards of sixteen years, why are you surprised he knows your sandwich preference? For real, we can see the distance between these two right then.

And Max picking up Taylor and just carrying her is amazing. Because everything Max does is amazing.

I kind of like the report between Taylor and Carter here, the nicknames “tough Taylor” it’s cute. And she’s trying to make Taylor feel welcome with her friends. And then they walk into a room in which zero of the occupants are wearing a shirt. And Taylor loses her shit. The wallflower literally walks into a wall. Or a glass door. Taylor’s just adorable.

And there’s a cozy moment between Elizabeth and David, which is totally broken up by Bad Cop calling her cell. This scene was nice, it gives us a good idea of why they’re a couple, despite being abjectly miserable together. It shows us that there was love there, that there’s history that justifies their lives now.

And man does Taylor move fast! Go girl, lose that lip virginity. Contrasting her kisses with Ofe, Gabe, and finally Max, we see the way she feels about each of them. Ofe is kind of her friend, but mostly a nice stranger, and he teaches her the basics. Then she kind of goes crazy lust monster on Gabe, who she had a big yen for, and then she kisses Max, who’s been super sweet and caring towards her, and it’s romantic. Then they non-literally blow the joint.

Taylor not getting that Gabe is totally into her now is amazing, because she is so cool. And then Max putting his foot down and being strong about not wanting to be involved with Lori’s master plan. Max is overall going above and beyond this episode, A+.

Wow, Bird is really aggressively going after Crash. She’s just made things super awkward. Something is up with that girl.

And suddenly everyone except Carter is getting some! Seriously, this may be the first episode in which she does not kiss someone. And we round off the episode with her and Elizabeth reconciling in a small way, and Lori and Max having a small confrontation. Max is clearly anti-Lori at this point, and I do see his point of view. In fact, I see what the show is trying to do with making us want her to stay with her bio family, but at the same time, Lori is her mother. For as long as she can remember, Lori was her only family, and you can’t just snap out of that.

Carter Stevens

Secrets!

Mom has had an affair with her partner, who is also Gabe’s dad. She ended it, but now it’s back on and she said that it’s over between her and her husband. Daddy David actually has known about it this whole time, and is planning on divorcing her.

Carter is trying to get back with Lori, her “real” mom. Everyone kind of knows this, though.

David and Elizabeth know that they are in foreclosure, but the kids aren’t in the loop. Also, they just used their daughters to get money from her parents. Also, David got a huge check from his publisher, but his agent took it back so that Elizabeth won’t get half when they separate.

Dad is secretly writing the book about Carter, though he promised her he wouldn’t.

Carter and Dad are the only ones who know that Carter nearly got caught with Crash in a stolen car.

Max told Carter that Lori is secretly in town, working on a way for them to be together again.

Carter appears to be the only one who knows that someone abused Bird. We’ll probably hear more about this later.

Carter is trying to keep it from her parents that she and Crash are still friends, though nothing more, but they’re pretty much the only ones who don’t know.

I may have to start a separate list on romantic entanglements, this is getting complicated!

But here’s a brief summary on the romantic side of things.

Carter isn’t into anyone right now, but she’s sad? The crying at the end of this episode confused me. She’s so far kissed Max, (though that’s clearly over) Gabe, and Crash, who she is trying to stay away from, and who Bird is really into.

Gabe used to be into Carter, but since the kissfest now he wants Taylor. Bad timing, dude. Also, kind of a dick move, first he tried to get Taylor to help him hook up with Carter and now the reverse. Never do you bounce off sisters like that.

Taylor wants Max, and used to want Gabe, but she got over him. Irony. What’s gonna happen now that Gabe wants her back?

Max likes Taylor. That’s pretty simple, like him. 🙂

Bird really wants Crash, and they appear to have done the deed in her closet. While her friends were outside. Bad manners.

Crash still wants Carter, but will take what he can get. Really, not good judgement on his part. Never do you get between a girl and her best friend. Even if said bestie is kind of emotionally disturbed and always acting weird.

Moment of appreciation for this scene: