Posted in TV

Finding Carter: “Half Baked”

This episode probably picks up the day after Carter’s big choice- because it was a choice. It could be argued that she gave the key and the phone to her dad because she couldn’t make the choice, but in giving it to him, she chose her blood kin. She severed all ties to her mother, and gave David the opportunity to incarcerate Lori, if he and Elizabeth had chosen to. To be fair to Carter, she did chose that course of action at the end of an emotionally exhausting day, having spent months being exposed only to people who really hated Lori (with good reason). So, I’m curious to see the emotional fallout in this episode, especially given what we saw in the preview.

So the episode opens on a meeting with Lori that David set up for Carter. This already feels suspect. Lori doesn’t show, and David’s speech to his daughter sounds way too rehearsed. How would he have even contacted Lori after he hung up? She said the phone was only good for one call. I’m guessing that David made up the whole meeting thing to get Carter to move on.

Fashion side note: Okay, I’ve been lenient before about making exposed bra straps a thing again, but I count one racer back lace bra, a magenta camisole and a black camisole. Seriously, Carter. You barely need a bra to begin with, let alone two. I’m going to start counting the bra straps I see in every episode, with each set of straps counting as one and including the ones in the intro song.

“I hate you!” Wow, Grant. Harsh. But he’s just a kid, not even a teenager yet. No matter how independent he’s had to be, he isn’t able to handle this. But seriously, what kind of mother lets her son talk to her like that? Also, David being nice. That totally means he’s up to something.

Max watering plants, because he’s perfect and loves the earth. Also, his diatribe on the carbon cycle is amazing. And wow, everyone knows about mommy’s dirty little secret in pretty quick succession. gotta say, so far, my favorite reaction is Carter’s. Though Grant’s little comment about the doughnuts is adorable. And mom’s been having said affair for three years! Hot damn. And Gabe’s mom was dying of cancer. Well, that explains where she is, and his issues with attachment to women. Also, wow. That must have been a sucky adolesence. I can’t see this confrontation ending well, although I also didn’t think it would escalate this quickly. Supportive Max is supportive.

Also, they both look crazy uncomfortable. Like, they said, let’s cross our arms. Oh, never mind, we shouldn’t. Oh damn, they’re here, cross your arms. Wow, more brand names. Adidas must have given them way less money than Macy’s. Also, the girls keep their arms crossed.

Lol, “Carter did most of the talking, and she’s really good at that.” XD Taylor knows what’s up. I love that Taylor speaks her mind and doesn’t hold back on telling her mother how she feels, because she seems like she tries to spare other people’s feelings a lot, and she’s been way bolder lately. “I’m so not used to this family drama.” Girl where you been the last few months?

Why does Carter suddenly care about going to school on time? She never actually goes to class.”Nobody’s going to get lost in the system.” What is this now, foster care? They’re all skipping school to day-drink at Max’s apartment? And smoking weed. Well, why the hell not? They’re already truant, let’s add to it by consuming an illegal substance.

Max being respectful of Taylor even when she says she wants him, but he knows her judgement is impaired is top notch. Awesome boyfriending!

Ugh, I knew they wouldn’t be on time to pick up Grant. Shame on them.

Also, Taylor is a follower. Lol, Elizabeth is observant. And where has David been all this time? Does he not understand that he’s gotta pick up the parenting slack if he kicks his wife out?

Ooh, I’ve figured it out. David needs to manipulate Carter into telling him it’s okay to publish the book about her, and thus keep his relationship with his daughter intact, hang on to his wife, publish his book, and make some money. Obviously, he’d rather not be in the situation in the first place, but if he had to be, best get something out of it. It’s sad that I’m beginning to understand David’s twisted mind.

Huh, a motel? Well, that explains where she’s been staying. My guess is that she doesn’t have a lot of friends with a couch she can crash on. Also, has she broken up with Gabe’s dad yet? She probably hasn’t been to work, so is she just avoiding him and hoping he’ll take the hint?

Wow, David is a really good actor. Also, really manipulative, and kind of a bad dad. Wonder if Elizabeth is in on her husband’s emotional manipulation of their daughter? Well, he didn’t get everything he wanted, I guess. His relationship with his daughter looks kind of damaged from here. She figured out that he lied about making a meeting with Lori. She looks pretty upset.

Okay, I counted 9 bra straps in this episode. We’ll see how that stacks up with the next one. Time for the secrets rundown!

David and Elizabeth know that they are in foreclosure, but the kids aren’t in the loop. Also, they just used their daughters to get money from her parents. Also, David got a huge check from his publisher, but his agent took it back so that Elizabeth won’t get half when they separate. But now that they’re working on their marriage, perhaps they’ll get the check now after all.

Dad started to write the book about Carter secretly, even though he promised he would not. He then manipulated her into allowing him to write the book, though on her terms.

Carter and Dad are the only ones who know that Carter nearly got caught with Crash in a stolen car.

Carter appears to be the only one who knows that someone abused Bird. We’ll probably hear more about this later.

Carter is dating Crash. She has kissed pretty much every other guy on the show, except Ofie. They seem to be happy, but he’s starting to kind of creep me out. He played average supportive boyfriend in this episode, which was a bit out of character.

Gabe used to be into Carter, but then he wanted Taylor, but they mutually decided that they’re more like family. So now he’s kind of in love limbo. But he also seems to be jealous of everyone. It’s now apparent that he probably developed emotional attachment problems due to his mother’s slow death due to cancer and his father’s subsequent detachment from reality.

Taylor wants Max, and used to want Gabe, but she got over him. She and Max are together now, and are adorable.

Bird screwed Crash in her closet, and appears to be a bit jealous of Carter and him. Plus she has that mysterious abuser in her past that we don’t know much about yet.

Crash is now dating Carter. He seems to fully reciprocate her feelings, but is starting to freak me our a bit and act a little cray cray.

Posted in TV

Teen Wolf: “Weaponized”

Wow, an episode about the SATs? I thought I was done with those two years ago. Not exactly their most inventive. I mean, these writers just love any excuse to lock all of the students inside the school building. It’ll be a miracle if anyone is left alive by graduation.

Also, way to be observant, Mrs. Martin! I mean, the adults in Beacon Hills aren’t known for their cunning or observation. I guess we know where Lydia gets it from. I mean, from what little we’ve seen of her dad, he looks none too bright. So I guess her brilliance comes from her mother’s side.

Okay, there has to be a cure for this thing, now that Scott’s infected. Is no one keeping Liam in the loop? Now he’s a werewolf, his step dad, the doctor can probably help. I mean, there’s a reason he was established as a character.

Why isn’t Lydia at her house, instead of the lake house? Something’s going down with that lake house, unless they somehow misplaced the set for Lydia’s room. Also, even when she’s going through a crisis, her hair game is always on point.

The awkwardness between Kira and Malia while waiting to get tested is so real. Also, why isn’t Malia wearing any clothes? Put on some pants, girl. Also, way to get the vault open without revealing her true parentage. It looks pretty damn cool, too. I’m actually wondering how many people know about Malia’s dad. I mean, Peter knows, Scott knows, Stiles knows. Does Derek? She’s a part of his family too. He doesn’t have much family either, so I think he’d appreciate it. I’m just not sure what Malia’s dad is going to do about it. His only living family turns out to not actually be his biological daughter. I’d really like to see a Malia focused episode, just to see what her home life looks like. A really sweet Stalia moment- gotta say, the trust there would be awesome if he weren’t keeping half a dozen secrets from her.

But Thats None Of My Business Drinking animated GIF

Also, sweet moment with Derek having a family. Except that most of them are dead. yeah. And it just so happens that the memory Derek retained the the secret to saving the day. %sin of convenience

Also, doing the germ spreading with the ink? Clever. Man, biological warfare is scary. And everyone’s okay! It’s actually resolved fairly quickly. But seriously, what a fricking coincidence that IT WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME. IN THE PLACE OUR HEROES FLED FOR SAFETY. A+ WRITERS.

And now Malia knows the truth.

Drama Dramatic animated GIF
Posted in TV

Finding Carter: “The Heat”

As usual, just to start, Max is his delightful self. And Carter reminds us that she is a bossypants. Has anyone else noticed that Carter is a brat? I mean, she’s had a shitty hand dealt her, but would it kill her to be pleasant?

Carter is blatantly using Crash, and he calls her on it, whereupon she uses her womanly wiles and brokeness to get him to help her. She’s not leading him on here at all. Great job keeping us in suspense, writers.

Annoyed Eye Roll animated GIF

Grant having adorable twelve-year old problems is just great. 🙂 I really like his relationship with Carter. While she’s just plain objectionable around most characters, she’s good with him.

Nice one on worming your way into Elizabeth’s trust, Carter. She’s unnervingly good at manipulating people. Considering how many people keep trying to control her, it’s a surprise. Also, Elizabeth is pretty self aware about how Carter feels about here. And David is suspicious. Didn’t see that before. This episode shows us a more conniving David than we’ve seen before.

Cat Evil animated GIF

Oooh, David wants a divorce. And he knows that Lizzy’s gettin busy with Bad Cop. Wow, he is going to burn her hard.

Carter and Elizabeth having actual fun. Maybe bonding is possible! And then they’re at a crime scene, and they have a deep conversation. We even get to see Elizabeth act a bit like a human being, and talk about her feelings.

Okay, little thing, but if you’re married to a guy for upwards of sixteen years, why are you surprised he knows your sandwich preference? For real, we can see the distance between these two right then.

And Max picking up Taylor and just carrying her is amazing. Because everything Max does is amazing.

I kind of like the report between Taylor and Carter here, the nicknames “tough Taylor” it’s cute. And she’s trying to make Taylor feel welcome with her friends. And then they walk into a room in which zero of the occupants are wearing a shirt. And Taylor loses her shit. The wallflower literally walks into a wall. Or a glass door. Taylor’s just adorable.

And there’s a cozy moment between Elizabeth and David, which is totally broken up by Bad Cop calling her cell. This scene was nice, it gives us a good idea of why they’re a couple, despite being abjectly miserable together. It shows us that there was love there, that there’s history that justifies their lives now.

And man does Taylor move fast! Go girl, lose that lip virginity. Contrasting her kisses with Ofe, Gabe, and finally Max, we see the way she feels about each of them. Ofe is kind of her friend, but mostly a nice stranger, and he teaches her the basics. Then she kind of goes crazy lust monster on Gabe, who she had a big yen for, and then she kisses Max, who’s been super sweet and caring towards her, and it’s romantic. Then they non-literally blow the joint.

Taylor not getting that Gabe is totally into her now is amazing, because she is so cool. And then Max putting his foot down and being strong about not wanting to be involved with Lori’s master plan. Max is overall going above and beyond this episode, A+.

Wow, Bird is really aggressively going after Crash. She’s just made things super awkward. Something is up with that girl.

And suddenly everyone except Carter is getting some! Seriously, this may be the first episode in which she does not kiss someone. And we round off the episode with her and Elizabeth reconciling in a small way, and Lori and Max having a small confrontation. Max is clearly anti-Lori at this point, and I do see his point of view. In fact, I see what the show is trying to do with making us want her to stay with her bio family, but at the same time, Lori is her mother. For as long as she can remember, Lori was her only family, and you can’t just snap out of that.

Carter Stevens


Mom has had an affair with her partner, who is also Gabe’s dad. She ended it, but now it’s back on and she said that it’s over between her and her husband. Daddy David actually has known about it this whole time, and is planning on divorcing her.

Carter is trying to get back with Lori, her “real” mom. Everyone kind of knows this, though.

David and Elizabeth know that they are in foreclosure, but the kids aren’t in the loop. Also, they just used their daughters to get money from her parents. Also, David got a huge check from his publisher, but his agent took it back so that Elizabeth won’t get half when they separate.

Dad is secretly writing the book about Carter, though he promised her he wouldn’t.

Carter and Dad are the only ones who know that Carter nearly got caught with Crash in a stolen car.

Max told Carter that Lori is secretly in town, working on a way for them to be together again.

Carter appears to be the only one who knows that someone abused Bird. We’ll probably hear more about this later.

Carter is trying to keep it from her parents that she and Crash are still friends, though nothing more, but they’re pretty much the only ones who don’t know.

I may have to start a separate list on romantic entanglements, this is getting complicated!

But here’s a brief summary on the romantic side of things.

Carter isn’t into anyone right now, but she’s sad? The crying at the end of this episode confused me. She’s so far kissed Max, (though that’s clearly over) Gabe, and Crash, who she is trying to stay away from, and who Bird is really into.

Gabe used to be into Carter, but since the kissfest now he wants Taylor. Bad timing, dude. Also, kind of a dick move, first he tried to get Taylor to help him hook up with Carter and now the reverse. Never do you bounce off sisters like that.

Taylor wants Max, and used to want Gabe, but she got over him. Irony. What’s gonna happen now that Gabe wants her back?

Max likes Taylor. That’s pretty simple, like him. 🙂

Bird really wants Crash, and they appear to have done the deed in her closet. While her friends were outside. Bad manners.

Crash still wants Carter, but will take what he can get. Really, not good judgement on his part. Never do you get between a girl and her best friend. Even if said bestie is kind of emotionally disturbed and always acting weird.

Moment of appreciation for this scene: